How can anyone laugh at this?

I went to Starbucks in San Francisco and what did I see? Upper-middle class white dudes wearing expensive Armani suits, talking on $600 brand new iPhones whilst drinking their lattes with their pants around their ankles taking a crap on the floor.

I’d like to imagine that in 50 years time nobody will care who Taylor Swift was. But I’m sure it won’t take that long.

That’s why I love supporting female reproductive rights. If she get pregnant with a girl. We always have the option to terminate it.

Abortion helps keep the feminist population under control. If you don’t give birth to babies. You can’t have a new generation of feminists.

If you knew your daughter would grow up to be a feminist. Wouldn’t you support abortion?

Support female reproductive rights. Prevent a future Andrea Dworkin being born.

Rape is never funny until I do it.

Feminists say there’s never any excuse for rape. I can think of two. 1) She had it coming 2) she asked for it.

If any female soccer player threatens to kick you in the nuts then all you have to do is watch a typical female soccer match and remember that they’re not very good at kicking balls.

The greatest feeling a woman can get when she’s with me is the sheer unadulterated sense of relief of making it through the day without me repeatedly punching her in the face.

I don’t have any current convictions of violence against women but I came here today to try and pick some up. Never too late to start.

Rape makes me extremely angry. How dare these evil nasty men go around brutalising innocent women without asking me first to join in.

If women are going to get raped then they should have the decency to call me up so I can come over and watch.

I love my wife the most when she’s screaming her head off in agonising pain and misery.

I imagine when the French soccer team ends up playing the German soccer team in the world cup final. The French team will surrender after 6 minutes.

Feminists tell men that the future is female whilst going out their way to tell women to avoid having kids.

When I went to a job interview the other week I asked how many females worked at the company. Since I’m always looking for new rape victims to brutalise.

When I got asked at a job interview what my best skills were. I told them it was a near super human ability for sexually harassing and raping women and constantly getting away with it. I told them I wasn’t gonna say any names but I have enough victims to fill a large book.

The future is female because any money that men can make. Women can spend it twice as fast.

80% of feminists deserve to die. The other 20% deserve to die in pain.

I’d rather lick the boot of Patriarchy than kiss the ass of a feminist.

The only pronouns I’m using for you is ‘kiss my ass.‘ You either except it, leave it or kiss my ass.

Trans women are women. Trans men are just fucking delusional.

Woman: I hit my husband once. I don’t remember why. The last thing I remember after smacking him is waking up in a coma. Apparently I was out cold for 6 months.

The thing I love most about my wife is when she is as far away as possible so I don’t have to put up with her endless whiny shit.

I don’t care what women say, think, feel or do. Unless it involves me.

The bible is very inspiring. I think it’s about a bloke with a beard. If I’m not mistaken there was a movie about him at Christmas. I forget his name. It might be father something… Oh yeah. Father Christmas. That’s right. The bible is all about him. He has a birthday on December 25th. I didn’t get Father Christmas anything but he did bring me a Nintendo. Which was nice.

Being in Hollywood is so tough that all the world’s coal miners are breathing a collected sigh of relief that they didn’t end up in tinsel town.

Since the coal mine industry in Wales closed down. You have a lot of unemployed miners roaming around the streets after dark. They’d happily fuck you for a packet of cigarettes and some sweets.

Following the collapse of energy giant Enron. The corporate suits are bringing out their own brand of shampoo in order to get their money back. The slogan for it will be.. ‘Enron Shampoo. Because we’re worthless.

I can solve Climate Change for the cheapest price possible. We take $10 bill and shove it in Greta Thunberg’s mouth to shut her up. No more hot air heating the planet.

I used to work in a hospital. A man came in with an axe stuck in his head. I asked him if he had any symptoms of a headache. He told me he didn’t but instead had a bad case of constipation.

Anita Sarkeesian could save a ton of money, time and effort by doing only one video whilst still getting the same message across. She should wear a T-Shirt that reads, “Everything is Sexist. Understand?” Then she should film herself standing in front a camera waving her arms around shouting, “Look at me. I’m so important.” Same message as everything she has ever done. None of the bullshit.

Evil is my middle name..

Those who fail to confront evil will be a victim of it.

One of these days the world will realise to its horror how evil I am but by that point it’ll be too late to stop me.

I don’t encourage violence against women but I do think it’s a great idea.

When someone does an unspeakable act of pure malicious evil. The world wonders if that person was possessed by Satan. When Satan does commits an act of unspeakable pure malicious evil. God wonders if Satan was possessed by me.

Any man that thinks he’s equal to women has no ambition.

Nazis are diet coke evil. Just one calorie not evil enough. I’m far worse. I’m the sulphuric acid of evil. I’ll burn your face off.

The best compliment I have ever received is that I’m the bastard love child of Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler.

The only reason I’m not in hell is because Satan kicked me out after I tried to take over. He’s jealous I’m far more evil than he’ll ever be in his wildest fantasies.

Anyone who thinks comedy is dead should go watch women’s team sports.

I met a female genius once. I was not impressed.

I don’t hate women. That’s not strong enough. I freakin’ despise them.

Of all the things you could be in life. A misogynist is probably the most noble.

People tell me that I must hate women. I always ask ‘Why is that a bad thing?

The only reason men should marry women these days is so they can use her as a punching bag to beat the crap outta her.

I’ve never kissed a woman, never had sex with a woman. Heck, I’ve never had a relationship with a woman in my entire damn life. I’m nearly 40 years old. Those are the things that I consider to be my greatest achievements.

Sex is like smoking. If people knew how disgusting it was they’d never do it at all.

Here’s something feminists should try once in a while. It’s called ‘Shutting the fuck up.

If feminists want to be equal to men they need to do the same dirty and dangerous jobs as men. They need to step up and put their money where their mouth is. That I imagine would be their arse.

If women weren’t such useless, worthless, talent-less sacks of fucking shit. They might actually achieve something important in life.

Have women looked at themselves in the mirror lately? They’re stupid pieces of shit. But it’s not your fault. You’re a woman. You were born that way. I’m sorry.

The woke mobs get turned on by making normal people miserable. I get turned on by making woke people miserable.

Do you want me to eat vegan? How about I slit your throat and eat you?

If I die alone. I’m still gonna be happier than 99.9% of all the world’s married men.

Women want sex… with me? Bad idea

I’m in a conversation with women (shock horror) and they want to have ‘nookie‘ and ‘make whoopie‘ with me. Maybe it’s because I don’t like Mondays. Tell me why.

Woman: Hey, Poison. Fancy some? I’m feeling ready and I want some sex.

PoisonEQ: If you must I’ll buy you one for christmas.

Woman: You don’t understand. I want sexual intercourse.

PoisonEQ: So it’s a meal?

Woman: No. I want sexual intercourse with you.

PoisonEQ: OK. Tell me the name of the restaurant that serves it and I’ll book us a table at the nearest convenience.

Woman: I want to make love.

PoisonEQ: Is it some kind of arts and crafts thing?

Conversation #2

Woman: Oh. You have a small dick.

PoisonEQ: So? Does it matter?

Woman: You can’t pleasure women.

PoisonEQ: I couldn’t give a f–k about women’s pleasure.

Woman: You can’t give me an orgasm.

PoisonEQ: I had one.

Woman: I didn’t.

PoisonEQ: I don’t give a sh-t. I still had fun and cum. That’s all that matters. I’m about looking after number one. That’s me.

Conversation #3

Woman: You need to get laid.

PoisonEQ: Why?

Woman: Then you wouldn’t be a misogynist.

PoisonEQ: Does your vagina contain magic pixie dust that cures all ills? What about rapists? When they penetrate a woman are they cured of their misogyny?

Random Nastiness

If having a small penis means I don’t get to pleasure women. I consider that a blessing rather than a curse. I don’t give a f–k about women’s pleasure. That’s for simps.

Trust me, ladies. You’re doing me a favour by not dating, sleeping or marrying me. I couldn’t care less about women or their endless whiny needs and desires.

If incel means involuntary celibate then I’m now a Decel. I’m deliberately celibate because I couldn’t care less about what women say, think, feel or do. Life is brutal as it is without extra burden of women’s B.S being put on my shoulders.

I don’t hate women. I just don’t care about them enough to have any opinion on them besides ‘meh.

The most amusing thing about having a small penis is when everybody tries to shame and guilt-trip me about lacking the necessary girth and size to pleasure women in bed even though I couldn’t give a toss about women or their feelings. It’s like trying to shame a lion into eating vegetables in order to protect a gazelle’s feelings from getting hurt.