How can anyone laugh at this?

I went to Starbucks in San Francisco and what did I see? Upper-middle class white dudes wearing expensive Armani suits, talking on $600 brand new iPhones whilst drinking their lattes with their pants around their ankles taking a crap on the floor.

I’d like to imagine that in 50 years time nobody will care who Taylor Swift was. But I’m sure it won’t take that long.

That’s why I love supporting female reproductive rights. If she get pregnant with a girl. We always have the option to terminate it.

Abortion helps keep the feminist population under control. If you don’t give birth to babies. You can’t have a new generation of feminists.

If you knew your daughter would grow up to be a feminist. Wouldn’t you support abortion?

Support female reproductive rights. Prevent a future Andrea Dworkin being born.

Rape is never funny until I do it.

Feminists say there’s never any excuse for rape. I can think of two. 1) She had it coming 2) she asked for it.

If any female soccer player threatens to kick you in the nuts then all you have to do is watch a typical female soccer match and remember that they’re not very good at kicking balls.

The greatest feeling a woman can get when she’s with me is the sheer unadulterated sense of relief of making it through the day without me repeatedly punching her in the face.

I don’t have any current convictions of violence against women but I came here today to try and pick some up. Never too late to start.

Rape makes me extremely angry. How dare these evil nasty men go around brutalising innocent women without asking me first to join in.

If women are going to get raped then they should have the decency to call me up so I can come over and watch.

I love my wife the most when she’s screaming her head off in agonising pain and misery.

I imagine when the French soccer team ends up playing the German soccer team in the world cup final. The French team will surrender after 6 minutes.

Feminists tell men that the future is female whilst going out their way to tell women to avoid having kids.

When I went to a job interview the other week I asked how many females worked at the company. Since I’m always looking for new rape victims to brutalise.

When I got asked at a job interview what my best skills were. I told them it was a near super human ability for sexually harassing and raping women and constantly getting away with it. I told them I wasn’t gonna say any names but I have enough victims to fill a large book.

The future is female because any money that men can make. Women can spend it twice as fast.

80% of feminists deserve to die. The other 20% deserve to die in pain.

I’d rather lick the boot of Patriarchy than kiss the ass of a feminist.

The only pronouns I’m using for you is ‘kiss my ass.‘ You either except it, leave it or kiss my ass.

Trans women are women. Trans men are just fucking delusional.

Woman: I hit my husband once. I don’t remember why. The last thing I remember after smacking him is waking up in a coma. Apparently I was out cold for 6 months.

The thing I love most about my wife is when she is as far away as possible so I don’t have to put up with her endless whiny shit.

I don’t care what women say, think, feel or do. Unless it involves me.

The bible is very inspiring. I think it’s about a bloke with a beard. If I’m not mistaken there was a movie about him at Christmas. I forget his name. It might be father something… Oh yeah. Father Christmas. That’s right. The bible is all about him. He has a birthday on December 25th. I didn’t get Father Christmas anything but he did bring me a Nintendo. Which was nice.

Being in Hollywood is so tough that all the world’s coal miners are breathing a collected sigh of relief that they didn’t end up in tinsel town.

Since the coal mine industry in Wales closed down. You have a lot of unemployed miners roaming around the streets after dark. They’d happily fuck you for a packet of cigarettes and some sweets.

Following the collapse of energy giant Enron. The corporate suits are bringing out their own brand of shampoo in order to get their money back. The slogan for it will be.. ‘Enron Shampoo. Because we’re worthless.

I can solve Climate Change for the cheapest price possible. We take $10 bill and shove it in Greta Thunberg’s mouth to shut her up. No more hot air heating the planet.

I used to work in a hospital. A man came in with an axe stuck in his head. I asked him if he had any symptoms of a headache. He told me he didn’t but instead had a bad case of constipation.

Anita Sarkeesian could save a ton of money, time and effort by doing only one video whilst still getting the same message across. She should wear a T-Shirt that reads, “Everything is Sexist. Understand?” Then she should film herself standing in front a camera waving her arms around shouting, “Look at me. I’m so important.” Same message as everything she has ever done. None of the bullshit.