Women and Bathrooms. Mystery Solved?

I went in the women’s restroom yet I didn’t see anything in there that would want to make me hang out in crowds. But for some reason women do.

I asked my Girlfriend why she goes to the bathroom with her friends. She said, “It’s a sense of community.” I looked at her and said, “Yeah. But you’re there to piss or shit.” You do understand that, ladies? The bathroom isn’t a place to exchange cooking recipes or discuss the latest celebrity gossip. You go there to piss or shit.

I’m an independent, strong, empowered woman who don’t need no man. But I do need my group of best friends to accompany me every time I need the bathroom. So they can hold my hand and cheer me on when I go to take a shit. We women don’t need a man but without our friends we can’t take a shit by ourselves.

The only reason any person would want to go to the bathroom in groups is so they can have some kind of shitting contest. Can you imagine that? Three female best friends in the bathroom challenging each other to see who can have the loudest plop.

Woman #1: Right, ladies. Get the toilet seat in position. Knickers down. The first to poop the loudest wins. No cheating by using piss soaked toilet paper, alright? I will notice the difference between a poop plopping into the toilet bowl and some wet toilet paper.

Real Reason Why Women Hate D1ck pics

We all know women hate receiving unsolicited pix of dix. Ever wondered why in general women don’t like looking at male genitals the way men do with women? Ever wondered why women tend to see upper male body (pecs, abs etc) as being more attractive, turn on than the lower body?

The TRUTH will surprise you but also make perfect sense.

Men like joking that our ‘naughty bits‘ are like trouser snakes or just snakes in general when discuss size, etc am I right?

*drum roll*

BIG MISTAKE!! Don’t you see, men? That’s why women HATE DICKS!! It leaves them traumatised because of that basic fact. It’s what turns women into Lesbians or transgender individuals. Get it? Understand it? Know where I’m coming from, fellas?

Penises are a reminder to women of that fatal night in the garden of Eden. Oh yes. Women suffer from PTSD as a result of having flashbacks to their original mother Eve. Do you understand now? This is why so many women are depressed and mentally unstable. They are surrounded by objects everywhere that taunt them about their own devastating mistake on that tragic night in Eden.

Women become Lesbians in order to escape looking at serpent style objects that penetrate them. This internal fear that ALL women have has been passed down through their genes right through history. It’s a never-ending, all consuming fear that the serpent will kill and devour their offspring as a result of their OWN SIN.

Male genitalia is typical stand-in, as far as women’s crazed, paranoid minds are concerned which is why they hate looking at pictures of it or why they don’t find it attractive or a turn on (it’s a nightmare for them). As well as why women will for all eternity live in fear of rape (being attacked again by the serpent and consumed by it).

REMEMBER THAT MEN.

When you flaunt your ‘naughty bits‘ around women falsely thinking they’re turn on or are attracted to it. THINK AGAIN.

YOU ARE PUTTING WOMEN THROUGH IMMENSE TRAUMA. You are reminding them of their own past mistake in the garden of Eden. They are scared that your penis is the serpent that tricked them into sin.

Don’t be surprised if after whipping out ‘the meat and two veg.’ Women over-react in an uncontrolled state of panic and anxiety. Don’t be shocked if they try to kick or punch your crotch screaming, “NOOOOOO! STOP COMING AFTER ME SERPENT!! Have you not caused enough damage yet for my sin?

If they drop to their knees sobbing, crying non-stop before praying, “Why GOD, why? Why do you allow the Serpent to taunt me so much?” You now know why.

This is why women need therapy a lot. This is why women go to the bathroom in groups. (Extra protection from potential serpent lookalikes lurking about.)

POEM: Be mad, girls, Be mad…

[This is in 6 syllable meter]

I’m a girl, I’m damn mad

not a boy, those guys suck.

Ignored for who I am,

patriarchy damn bad.

Stick it to them sisters,

females shouldn’t suck cock.

I don’t hate men, yeah right?

Why should I suffer rape?

They shout, scream and kill us

and told not to fight back.

Kill, kill, kill those damn men

get revenge on them all.

Girls, please don’t stop, don’t stop

our rage will get us through.

Men won’t ever leave us

we must always be bad.