Mister Men get all sexist, init.

Feminists like to complain that the Mr. Men series of books are sexist. I don’t know why. You have a great load of cool characters for boys and girls of all ages. There’s Mr. Engineer, Mr. Scientist, Mr. Smart for the boys and for the girls you have Little Miss shut-your-mouth. What’s sexist about that?

I wrote my own story for the Mr. Men books. It goes like this — Mr. Brainy was having a very complex and intriguing discussion with Mr. Scientist about the origins of the universe. When Little Miss know-it-all came bursting into the room. She said, “Anything men can do women can do better.” Mr. Brainy stroked his chin for a second or two and then replied, “Are you friends with Little Miss shut-your mouth? You should.

Ultimate Mister Men story for the kiddies…

One evening Mr. Sexist was getting ready to go out to dinner. When he heard a loud scream coming from upstairs. Without hesitation he rushed up to find out what the commotion was all about. He saw his wife, Mrs. Sexist in the bedroom standing in front of the mirror in her new evening dress screaming her head off. “Oh my god! Oh my god!” She repeated over and over.

Mr. Sexist was puzzled. “What’s ever the matter, darling?

Mrs. Sexist looked at her husband. “Does my butt look big in this?

Mr. Sexist shook his head unable to contain his disgust at such an overblown reaction from his wife. “Bloody women.” Mrs. sexist started sobbing. Her tears were uncontrollable in the face of such a misogynistic slur. Mrs. Sexist was getting ever more over-emotional as she stood there crying her little heart out.

Mr. Sexist suspected she was having her period or some other women problem that he didn’t understand. Mrs. Sexist cried out, “Do you love me? Please tell me you love me unconditionally and that my backside doesn’t look too big and ghastly.

Mr. Sexist chuckled to himself. Then smiled and gave his wife a big hug and a kiss. “Of course, I love you unconditionally,” He said. “Your the most perfect woman in the world.” Mrs. Sexist stopped crying and jumped up and down for joy. “Now,” Mr. Sexist said. “Get your fat-big-old ass in the car. I’m taking you out for dinner!